I remember back in the late 90s taking a college-level writing class — and being bored out of my skull. Why the hell does “professional” style writing have to be so dry and dull? Would you rather read something that is conversational and relate-able, or something that is written the “right” way and makes you want to cut your wrists and bleed on the paper to make it interesting? I can’t believe instructors can stand to read that shit day in and day out.

Who the hell decided what is “professional”? Who decided that everyone in the working world has to conduct themselves in only that one professional way? You must write your resume like this, you must conduct your job interview like this, you must do this on your first day, you must act like this in front of your employers/associates/clients. You must, above all, never be yourself. Don’t talk like you normally would, don’t conduct yourself the way you feel comfortable, and surely don’t ever have an opinion unless you water it down so as not to step on anyone’s toes. Before you say anything, run it through your political correctness and buzzword jargon filter. Don’t ever say what you really mean to say. It’s like you’re performing a play every day. Here are your lines, this is your role, stay in character.

I certainly don’t think anyone should act and talk like a complete moron. I just hate that everything you do relating to a career has to be done only one way. This is especially bullshit when in a creative field. How is anyone supposed to create art when they’re supposed to be in this one box of behavior and thinking on the job?

An aside – designers, don’t you fucking hate it when someone tells you to “think outside the box”? They never really want you to think outside the box and do something amazing, they want you to think outside the box of good taste by doing it a completely shitty/stupid/outdated way. As soon as a client or employer says “think outside the box”, fucking dump their asses quick as a jackrabbit. Game over. Otherwise, resign yourself to doing something awful and omitting your name from it.

Back to my point, why can’t we speak and act like humans? Why do we have to pad everything with meaningless bullshit? I don’t want to be an automaton, and I have a feeling no one else does either. So why do we all still try to be this way with our careers? It makes no sense! Let’s say “fuck that” to the conventional professionalism bullshit!