Hello there! No, I have not been attending keggers or pep rallies for college football games. I have not been up all night long studying for a big test the next day or gossiping with roommates. I have not been roofied and sexually assaulted, despite the posters in the bathrooms proclaiming 28% of college ladies will experience sexual assault in their lifetimes, and 1 in 8 will be sexually assaulted while in college, and 1 in 5 will be raped; I swear they pull numbers out their asses. None of that even makes sense. It reminds me of a brochure holder I once saw in a restroom of another college that said “SEXUAL ASSAULT INFORMATION” and someone Sharpie’d in “Prevention” between Assault and Information. Nice save.

No, I haven’t been having all those typical college experiences. I don’t know if I’m just old or incredibly socially awkward (or both), but I can’t say I talk to one person more than a sentence or two a day. Where my freaks at? Everyone here is very Abercrombie & Boring. What’s with the dumb bitches who have their hair wadded up in a nasty ponytail with a stretchy headband around their heads? Are you just about to wash your face? Knock that shit off. It won’t kill you to take 10 seconds and run a brush through your hair, Nasty McStinky. Take a little pride in yourself.

My time has been spent in classes, working on projects for classes, and going to bed by 8 or 9pm, so I can be up at 5am. It seems every week I will have multiple projects due, none of which are ever completely clear to me. I follow instructions carefully and I still end up missing things that I suppose I should have magically known based on nothing. My first essay did not have a title at the top of the page. Nowhere in the instructions did it say I needed a title. I lost 4 points just for that. A project due the second week was deemed “not creative” and “not outside the box” and earned me an F. First project of the year! Apparently I should have created a masterpiece based on murky instructions and barely 2 weeks of knowledge of the software used to create said masterpiece. Silly me.

Complain to the instructors, you say? Well, if I thought it might do any good, I would. I have no doubt all they will say is to do better next time and learn from my “mistakes”, as well as earn me a reputation as a whiner. For the instructor of the F project, I’ve said a few times in class (one on one) that my goal in going to school is to learn how to expand my creativity because I know it’s an area that I have a hard time with. This subtle information I am hoping she will remember when it comes to watching my work get better throughout the semester. Or she’s a cunt and wants to ensure I fail at life. Either/or.

It has been suggested that I start kissing some ass, but if I were a teacher, I’d see that shit coming from a mile away. It seems to me that that would hurt me more than help me. So I’m trying to more subtly play the naive who is here to learn from them. Which is mostly true. But they’re already on my bad side.

I feel like a dweeb for often getting my assignments done early, and (now) really trying to go above and beyond what’s expected. Without going too far, because I don’t need to lose points for doing too much either. Beware the pendulum. I really need to get excellent grades so I can try to get some scholarships to pay for upcoming semesters.

As it is, I have zero time for much of anything outside of school stuff (and sleeping – a rested brain works better than a tired one!); I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I had to also be working a job right now. While in school, my ideal situation is to continue to not have to work. I want to really do well and learn and get this shit done as quickly as possible. I still do some freelance work that I squeeze in time for here and there, but I don’t have a steady job. As I’m learning, there is a lot of nickel-and-dime’ing of art students to get various overpriced supplies continually, so more of an income may be needed. Seriously, $5 for a small sheet of foam-board to mount one stupid project; for no real reason I can discern. It doesn’t add anything to the design of the project. Don’t tell me “that’s how it’s done in the real world at a real job” (they all love to spout that shit) because I was just there. I have never needed foam-board in my nearly 6 years working for a web company. Most design work is just emailed now-a-days. Perhaps you need to get back in the real world in a real job so you know what is still even relevant these days?

I discovered my intended plan of earning my degree by 2012 sounds like an impossibility. Working against me is the fact that many of the classes can only be taken in a certain order, and several of those classes are only available in certain semesters (spring vs. fall). So the powers-that-be have ensured they can suck more money out of students by making them hang around longer, I have no doubt. I might be able to finish by 2013. That is if I can continue my full time class schedule.

I just so desperately want this goddamn degree so that I can move on with my life and my career. I feel like I’m at such a stand-still now. Yes I’m learning valuable things, but none of it is earning me money yet. Patience is not a virtue I have much experience with.

That’s often my thought when I’m spending 8, 10, 16 hours on projects:
I’m not even getting paid for this!